Your world is crashing down...The Responder week

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 There is this successful police captain, healthy and with a good marriage and a happy family...

And then there is Chris Carson! 

And with this I welcome you all for our Responder special.

BE AWARE OF SPOILERS! 

Chris Carson had it all, a successful career, a loving wife, a sweet mother, and a strong health....until he has nothing anymore, besides a life full of struggle and problems.

We all know cop shows, and some of us 

( like me) wonder if we really need more of them?

Probably yes, because we seem to be fascinated with cool cops, and wild chases through beautiful cities, perfectly aware that at the end of the episode everything is going to be ok, and the handsome cop will end up in bed with the now innocent proved gorgeous suspect.

And then there is the Responder! 

A show we have never seen before, because the Responder is not just a cop show.

It's a character analysis.

There are no chasing scenes and no sexy cop meets suspect moments, instead you get an almost shockingly honest view on a broken man.

A show so pure and bleak sometimes, that you feel a bit ashamed watching him.

At the beginning we meet Chris Carson at a therapist 's office, and everyone who has ever done that knows how difficult it is to open up to a complete stranger, who only listen because we pay them.

" I want to be normal" 

This very early spoken statement of Chris sums up his real longing, and we soon see that he is miles away from being normal.

Or at least what society declare as normal.

He seeks therapeutic help because he got " caught " crying on a crime scene , which left him morally compromised.

Is a police officer morally compromised when he shows feelings?

When we meet Chris, he is a broken man who tries real hard to talk about his issues and wants help, but he is equally blocked and unable to express what he really feels and the struggle is so painful ,especially when you had been in the same situation countless times.

Carson is in the biggest crisis of his life, and we realise very early on, that there is no easy way out.

He suffers from depression and anxiety , and panic attacks are his daily companion.

He got degraded and is no longer a captain but an officer who needs to be on the streets every night, a fact that can be stressful and could bring stronger characters down to limits, but Chris is not strong anymore.

His marriage is in question, and we get the feeling there is much more going on between him and his wife Kate.

I felt sorry for Kate quite quickly, because living with a human wall is anything but easy.

And even he is a loving father , he doesn't have much time for his little girl.

A fact that seems to hurt him more than anything else.

In the scenes with Tilly, you get a glimpse on the " real" Chris Carson.

He is sweet, tender and extremely calm and full of love and adoration for his wonderful little girl.

The moment we see him with Tilly, we want him to be ok, because without knowing him too well yet,we are convinced that such a loving father can't be a bad guy.

The problem with good guys is, that the good guys sometimes meet up with the wrong people for different reasons.

And a police officer and a drug dealer probably shouldn't be best mates.

For a reason....Or two...Or ten.

Karl , the drug dealer is actually a sweet guy, well kind of, he even is a bit funny , but he is also an old friend of Carson, and unfortunately we learn that our already favourite Bobby hasn't the clean slate we were hoping for.

But that is exactly what the show is about, it gives us a reality check.

The Responder gives us a man of flaws and so captured in his head, that it is a miracle the doesn't pass out of sheer exhaustion.

 " I don't know what's right and wrong anymore.

I thought I was doing something good, and it got me fucked" 

That should be his life motto on a t-shirt.

I believe him, and his wish to do the right thing.

He wants to be a good husband, he wants to be a loving father, and a good cop.

What he is instead is a broken man, who bangs doors and scares his wife, he has a huge temper issue, and if you go on his nerves during a shift it's likely he will break your nose, or put a death threat on you.

If it's not enough to deal with mental health issues, and a family in crisis, and colleagues who don't trust him anymore , or never have, no it's not even the fact that his Mum is dying of cancer, but simply not soon enough to release him from the weight of paying for her care, and I'm not even sure it would be a relief, because he visits her every single morning, and we witness a loving son.

A man who worries but tries not to show it, but a mother knows...

All this would be the perfect description of a nervous breakdown and a PTSD leaflet in a doctor's office, but the real shit just began....

Because in his heart Chris really wanted to do the right thing, but that is easier said than done.

Especially, when you come in contact with Marco and Casey two drug addicts, who clearly need help, but I'm not sure that Officer Carson is the right person for the job.

Yet he tries hard at first, and shows true responsibility, but for a broken man it is all too easy to fall of the wagon.

And a spiral of problem starts and it seems impossible to stop it,anymore.

Suddenly there is no way out, because whatever he does, it is wrong on one side or another.

And this is where reality and this show spit us in the face, and I'm fucking grateful for it.

(And again , I apologise for swearing but this is a blog dedicated to Mr. Freeman, and we all admire his honesty and own way to express himself so only learn from the best ) 

Because not everything in life is black or white, there are grey areas, and Chris is dealing with constant grey areas , which getting darker by the minute.

And we all could get in trouble big time, for family or friends or ourselves, and all of a sudden there is no way out anymore.

Whatever Carson does, he gets himself deeper and deeper into a world he cannot control.

And maybe he really thinks that's the only way , or maybe he even believes he has no choice and who knows maybe he hasnt.

Perhaps there are situations in life, where you feel trapped in your own mind and world, and everyone around you seems to know, but you can't figure it out.

Is that what's happening to Chris and us somehow, sometimes, somewhere...?

More in our next article....

Be part of our first Responder week.

For questions and suggestions or to chat please contact me: sabsigb7@yahoo.com