John the traumatised soldier with art from Petite Madame

 Before I start let me tell you, that I am extremely proud, to show you my favourite John Watson art from the amazing French artist Petite Madame, and I am honoured to have her permission to show her incredible art here.

She is not only super creative and talented, but also a very nice and supportive!

Please see more of her works and illustrations on her social media accounts.

They can be found on Tumbler and can be seen on Twitter X

Dr. John H. Watson is actually a quite broken character.

People always talking about Sherlock and his character flaws, which he has that's probably very obvious, but he is in my opinion the much more solidified person, and that's why John relies on him.

Sherlock is John's lifeline.

And no I do not mean it in a Johnlock way.

In case, you have missed  our very first blog post where I explained a few things, here now once more the Johnlock explanation :)

I had been a Johnlocker myself in my years in the wonderful Sherlock fandom.

But this blog is not about ships or a specific project.

I strongly believe that we should respect every ship that this show brought to us.

No one has exclusive rights, and badmouthing other fans, only because they love a different ship is something I detest.

Don't spoil other peoples happiness!

But on this site, my main concern is Martin Freeman and his roles, and John Watson is just one role in an almost thirty years long

 ( and going) career, so there will be never any ship references seen in any articles that resolves around the doctor.

Back to the broken man in this show.

John Watson is incredibly unstable, not only before he meets Sherlock Holmes, but all the time we know him.

Captain John Watson is for and foremost a soldier who has seen unforgettable tragedies, extreme violence, and things we can't even imagine.

And that brings him two lifelong issues:

One he is not able to live a life without danger, and two he remains traumatised for life.

 " You're not haunted by the war, Dr. Watson.

You miss it! " 

The conversation that takes place in the episode " A study in Pink " is my absolute favourite Mycroft Holmes moment.

The moment is so full of intelligent and sassy wisdom coming from Mycroft " I am the British Government " Holmes, and for the first time, we get a glimpse of John, the man with nerves of steel if required.

John Watson is indeed traumatised, and he clearly suffers from haunting memories, and PTSD, but he is also broken and lonely.

When we first meet him, John is a destroyed soul without hope.

He has no one left in the world, and London can be suffocating when you have no life to live there.

" Nothing happens to me " 

 He is haunted by nightmares, and the fact that he has nothing left to hang on to, no job, no future, no meaning.

The top war surgeon is only a shell of his former self, and you don't need to be an expert, to see that this man is depressive and suicidal.

Running into Mike Stamford was probably a lifesaver, in the full sense of the word.

Being introduced to Sherlock Holmes is the turn, and soon ( real soon) Mr. Nerves of Steel proves his importance to Sherlock, so quickly that even the one and only consulting detective seems to be surprised.

John Watson not only shows amazing patience with a man no one ever wanted to be friends with before,  but he is also extremely loyal.

But John is not a cute man, who runs blindly into danger, and follows Sherlock like a dog.

He is dominant in his own rights.

He runs the household, mostly because he has no choice, but he also mocks Sherlock 

( not my favourite character treat) and teaches Sherlock how to deal with people, clients and " friends ".

They become an inseparable team, and soon the limping stops, and the self-confidence returns.

Dr. John Watson has a new path in life.

He is friend, doctor, blogger, and protector.

He is back in the war, but this time in the streets of London, and in the dangerfields of Sherlock Holmes.

After all this time John is finally happy, maybe even for the first time ever in his life.

He accepts the eccentricity in his friend, and said friend supports the real John Watson.

A man who seeks danger and excitement, because he is not able to live a normal life.

He needs this kind of life to survive.

This companionship is more than friendship or a flat share, this new life is John's reason to live.

This special lifestyle is necessary to keep his head above the water, without it, John is not able to exist anymore.

He is not strong enough to live for the life itself, it's not enough and it never will be.

Dr. Watson needs a place in life, like we all do, but he needs a place where risk and thrill match with domesticity and fun.

Otherwise his mental health issues would return with force, and he would not be able to fight back.

The trauma returns to new heights after Sherlock's death.

Within days John Watson is more broken than ever, and it is one of the most painful scenes to witness.

This is not just grief, this is hopelessness and the knowledge that nothing will ever be the same again.

And it will change forever...

After Sherlock's death the trauma turned into something darker and way more aggressive towards anyone and anything.

Once again, he was not able to save himself, because he is paralysed with grief and depression.

Mary saves him this time, but not in an adventurous kind of way, but in a loving way.

He gets love and attention, and in a way he feels alive once more, but with her he tries to find a new way to feel alive.

It doesn't work for long, and maybe it never really worked at all.

The moment he sets foot into 221b again after almost two years, the old longing is back, and it is obvious that John is far away from being ok.

He once again has lost his balance, and like I said it never really returned.

With Sherlock's return, we see John's trauma reaching new heights.

To PTSD and grief comes an unusual violence, and the recipient is Sherlock Holmes.

What's even worse than the aggressiveness, although I do not want to play down the violence, but John Watson has lost the most important thing in life.

The sense of basic trust!

He trusted Sherlock, and through him and their friendship John was able to trust himself and the world again.

That's all gone, and even he learns to have faith in Sherlock again, the carefree John Watson was destroyed the minute Sherlock Holmes jumped of that roof.

In his place is now a sarcastic, careful and moody man, with more trust issues than humanly possible, and a very short fuse.

John is no longer able to control anger or frustration properly, and more often than not, he looks like he is ready to explode.

But there are times when he mostly implodes, which is not a wise thing to do, if you are a traumatised person who suffers from trust issues.

His trust issues gets confirmed by Sherlock's behaviour and soon enough Mary's lies, between all those lies and problems, there is a man who feels constantly left out, or overlooked by the people he loves the most.

And to be fair, those two sometimes formed an alliance, that made John look stupid and pointless, seeing this I felt the need to remind Mary and Sherlock that the man they claim to love, is not some silly idiot, but a man of medicine and a former captain of the army.

John and his trauma is the overall thread throughout his life post Reichenbach.

It's a tragedy to see that this man is not allowed to have a minimum of peace and freedom.

Some of his issues are " homemade " and after a wrong decision, comes another mistake and so life moves on for Dr. Watson, but not in a good way.

When your best friend comes back from the death, your wife turns out to be an assassin, and everyone around you is trying to hide something, then it is perhaps time to change something.

But John Watson was never able to change things himself, life did it for him.

Because the tough soldier, skillled doctor and creative blogger needs a leader in his life.

Once he has that, and with it the balance and stability he so clearly craves, as long as there is danger mixed in the cocktail, all is fine.

War, Sherlock, Mary, Sherlock again..

Is there a fix point, then you get to see a John Watson at the height of his game.

But life didn't give him much of a chance, and after years of frustration and bottled up anger and misery, the agony finally breaks through, and turns John into a man with issues that will left the people around him sad and bewildered, and in Sherlock's case hurt!

John Watson in agony is a John Watson who has has two major problems:

Alcohol and violence.

Whenever there is no way out, he turns to liquor, and whenever he feels trapped, or angry he lashes out now.

With a force that in Sherlock's case has no grounds, at least not in this degree of outburst.

Like the broken man we see at the beginning, John is in later days not capable of saving himself from grief or misery.

He is once again emotionally immobilised, and numbs himself with alcohol and aggression, and tries to blame anyone including himself, and in the case of Mary's death he not only blamed Sherlock but makes a typical move that lot of grieving people do: They transfigure the past, and their role in it.

The Watson marriage was probably not what we would describe as happy, and even I think texting another woman while your wife looks after your newborn baby is not my idea of love, but the extreme guilt John feels over this, and tearing himself and others apart in the face and circumstances of Mary's death, is only partly justified.

Mary was a difficult person, with a personality that often enough reduces John to an idiot.

That might be probably the one tiny little thing, that Mary and Sherlock had in common.

The way they treated John Watson and mistakenly turned him into an idiot.

Just because a person is loyal to an unhealthy extend doesn't mean, said person is a naive little sidekick you can push around.

We shouldn't never forget that we talk about a doctor, who worked under the most dangerous circumstances in order to save lives, who is able to function under pressure and rebuilt a life and a career, and let's face it, who is probably the most famous blogger in the world, and that fact alone gets Sherlock most of his clients!

So treating John Watson like an idiot, is a huge mistake, but one John himself is not really able to contradict.

He let it happen, and it seems his fear of losing people and a certain lifestyle makes him weak.

Especially after Sherlock's " death".

I often wondered if John suffers from separation anxiety which makes him so submissive at times, the sheer fear of being alone and miserable turned him into a pseudo responsible guy, who persuaded himself to do a good and loyal thing, if he stays in a unhappy marriage or let Sherlock do what he wants.

The willpower leaves him every time he has to stand up for himself.

He was an empty shell when he returned from Afghanistan, he was a grieving shell when Sherlock died, and he was a guilty shell after Mary's death.

Every time he was paralysed by his own emotions.

And he keeps repressing them, all of them, sometimes even the good ones.

And when you supress your love, anger and almost all kind of feelings , it's only a matters of time when you develop into a ticking time bomb ready to explore.

And John did exactly that!

With a violence that made my heart stop for a moment, and please never think for one minute I agree to such an outburst, but I understand the back story.

And I also will not give the impression here, that I wouldn't care for Sherlock.

I care immensely for the genius detective, and together they need to clean the air between them.

The one who is not to blame, is the one who needs to forgive.

In the case of Sherlock and John, we will probably have to agree, that none of those sweet idiots is completely blameless.

All these thoughts are only possible, because BBC Sherlock had been a phenomenal show,Mr.Cumberbatch a brilliant Sherlock, and Martin Freeman a magnificent Watson.

All the many layers, repressed feelings and traumatic moments played in such a deep and subtle way, that we all fell in love with the broken soldier who became a wonderful friend and supporter to a man who only learned through Dr. Watson what happiness really means.

But between happiness and cases, there was and always will be a lot of things they need to work on.

As we all need to do....

Wherever John Watson is and whatever he is does I wish him all the best in the world, because in my opinion he deserves a bit of peace and love.....and a little danger of course.

Once again my heartfelt gratitude to Petite Madame and her support.

I love her art so much, and still turning into an exciting fan every time I see one of her works.