Thank you, Chris Spoiler S1/S2

 Chris Carson made me cry.

Chris Carson made me laugh.

Chris Carson made me angry.

Chris Carson made me sad.

Chris Carson made me happy.

Summary: I love Chris Carson for all those reasons and I'm not alone! 

Therefore my very last article in five weeks of The Responder will have one single highlight, and that is the man himself.

And because we cannot celebrate a fictional character without the person behind him, I will show you some audience comments , so you can see for yourself that Martin Freeman deserve the praise as much as Chris Carson deserves a fair chance.

" Five words: Martin Freeman in the Responder 👍" 

" When an actor inhabits a role so well, you think you are watching a real person" 

The important thing in life isn't the destination, it's the journey..so they say.

The challenges you face along the way.

When I first met Chris more than two years ago ( wow time flies) he had been a mess.

He sat in therapy unable to open up, his job a total nightmare, he had to do to night shifts as a regular police officer, since he had lost his captain badge for disciplinary reasons.

His marriage was in a crisis, and he lived on heavy meds to reduce the panic attacks and deal with the depression and its side effects.

The issues as weird as it sounds, had been the things that made me fell in love with his character so quickly.

Because I know how he felt, what he had to endure, his hurricane of thoughts, his constant tension, the panic that dominates every moment of the day.

 Chris Carson is probably the character who is the closest to my heart.

" Martin Freeman, what an actor.

Take a bow" 

Because in a way I am Chris Carson.

No, I am not a police officer and I am not corrupt, but his mental state is my life for exactly 30 years now.

Day in, day out, 24/7 , 365 a year.

And believe me, there are days when life is a living hell.

If you want to read more about my view on Chris and his attacks then you can do it here

Chris endured a lot, and I saw not only hidden struggle, but the desperate wish to change the situation.

But sometimes the more we push, the more we loose.

And Chris is about to loose a lot, and he turned out to be our new favourite broken hero real quickly.

" Martin Freeman is electric " 

Chris Carson, was never the typical hero you usually meet in shows.

He is not particularly rude or charming, he is man who is struggling, and never hid the fact.

It's his honesty that makes him believable.

In a very short time, we get to know Chris Carson very well, but we never judge him.

Why is that?

Because there is finally a "hero" who is full of flaws and weaknesses?

Like most of us?

Because there is an actor that never hide from his audience any layer or fault?

Because Martin Freeman show us a man so complex and human, that's we feel understood, because lot of us know that life can get really tough, and we easily loose track of our  path?

All of it!

Sometimes we don't need this one big thing, that put us over the edge, it's all the little things, that makes it more and more difficult to function properly, and one day there is the final straw that turns a police officer into a nervous wreck.

As a person who deals with this herself, the reason why he needed therapy was painful to hear.

An incident at work.

He broke down, showed emotions, and was not the super tough guy who gives a shit about other people.

Yes he showed weakness.

Not good, sure but does this justify such a treatment?

The whole first season he is bullied with remarks regarding his " mental state ".

Believe me, I have heard all this myself , from colleagues, friend's and family members, and it is simply wrong.

It's bullying, it's neither funny not helpful, and no one, not one single person in my work or family environment would have said anything so degrading if I have had a physical issue.

A " normal " illness, where I could show an X-ray to proven what's wrong with me.

But people like Chris has to endure mistreatment and mocking.

Why?

For a man like Chris this is difficult enough without the mockery.

Weakness and open up in therapy, is nothing a man like him does easily , and we witnessed how extremely strenuous a session is for him, although with a thirty years experience I can honestly tell you, that his therapist is one of the most awful people I have ever seen working in this job, a job that some people think is just listening to other people's problems.

This opinion couldn't be further away from the truth.

Being a therapist is probably one of the most difficult, and most responsible job I can think of.

And in Chris case, we saw a completely wrong approach, and a therapist who went on to do therapy by the book, but not individually and in tune with the patient.

His therapy session were one of the hardest scenes to watch in S1.

He clearly needed help, he clearly struggled, and he very clearly did not get the help he required.

I have sat in front of such " go by the books" therapists, and they can increase the suffering and make you even more miserable.

And I met the brilliant therapists, where you actually learn something about yourself and get real tools for getting your life back.

I wish Chris has had such a good therapist, maybe his way had been different , because he had learn how to love and live with himself.

In season one, I met a man tired and desperately trying to find his balance, but the monster of panic, aggression and depression makes it almost impossible.

He wants to be a good bobby, a caring father, and a loving husband.

" How good is The Responder?

Martin Freeman is amazing " 

What he is instead is an overworked cop, who struggles with financial issues, demolishes doors, and sometimes people, who is unable to speak to his wife, and has not enough time to be a loving Dad.

Soon enough, I came across a character trait, I should have disliked, a man who gets a bit too easy to convince that one or two " little favours " for an old friend is no problem.

Does it matter that said friend is a drug dealer?

It should have mattered, it should have made a difference, but I never judged him.

Not because I approve his ways, methods or excuses, but because Martin Freeman made him one of the most human human beings I have ever seen.

His issues, his struggling attempts to maintain his life.

All those small and big favours, risking his job and his life for a young woman that brings nothing but problems, and yet there is this protective side in Carson, that makes him so intensely human.

" Martin Freeman is excellent in this "

Could he had done things differently?

Possibly!

But the constant question we asking in the presence of Carson is :

" What would we have done ?"

Because in life, it is just one tiny little step that holds us back from being in Carson's situation.

A similar experience can happen to all if us.

We might not all be corrupt police officers, but we are not immune to become a person who is not able to divide right from wrong, because the state of our lives and mind became fragile and vulnerable, and the overall wish to step out of this hell whole overshadows almost anything.

" Martin Freeman is brilliant.

Its Shakespearean, it's Jacobean.

It's horribly realistic " 

 Chris is not without a conscience, on the contrary.

Like I said, he helps people who as a payback badmouth him, and make fun of him, like so many before and after.

And he tries to make things right, bit he is also aware that sometimes it is not that easy.

In real life, there is more than black and white, and this show is so realistic that now and then I needed a break.

Especially when we see himg struggling with panic attacks. 

No other actor or actress ever paid the people who suffer from this condition a better tribute , and this is most definitely not the comment of a biased fan, but from a long term patient.

" Martin Freeman brings an almost frightening reality to his character " 

After all the suffering and involvement in blood and thunder, we were hoping for a new chance, a new beginning in S2.

Boy, we couldn't have been more wrong..

I have to say, that I think S2 is even better, although I didn't know that would be possible.

But writing, cast and most of all:

Chris Carson is better, deeper and even more intense!

A man and his journey that left me emotionally shattered, and this is no exaggeration.

I invested so many feelings in this new season, and I didn't do it because I am a fan, and definitely not because I am a blogger, it didn't even happen deliberately.

It was just a natural process...

The Chris of season two exhausted me in the best possible way!

I invested more emotions in this man , than I ever thought I would be able to do with a fictional character.

He changed my question marks into exclamation marks, and together with his audience, he filled the void of his past, in the hope of a future.

Two things that worked as a catalyst for me this season were:

The relationship with his father, and an exhaustion so intense, that sometimes even I felt weak just watching him.

Like I have said in my ep 5 post, in this season especially in the last episode we see a heroic man, a man who got kidnapped, beaten and injured.

It was a climax that pushed my blood pressure to dangerous heights.

Yet, those two things I mentioned above are the most significant ones to me.

" I'm dead impressed with Martin Freeman " 

 I always tried to avoid too many repeats when I write about The Responder, but this time I have to quote two sentences from Ep 2 and Ep3, because no other words are so related to what I felt throughout the whole season.

The first one is from my new friend Neil, we meet Neil in episode 2.

See our take on Ep2 right here 

Neil and his one and only concern:

" Have you seen the sun "?

And my new favourite elderly Lady and her cat, and the question that we all ask one day:

" Is your best good enough "?

The first question is probably easy to answer, and that's why this is so painful.

Chris Carson hasn't seen the sun in a very long time.

I am not sure, he can even remember when he was in the sun for just a moment.

And that's not only because of night shifts, and days of restless sleep.

Using it as a metaphor for Chris, means that he stands in the dark most times.

By now Chris Carson is one of the loneliest people in Liverpool.

His days are as bleak as his nights, and besides the forced attempts to be a happy and loving Dad, there is absolutely no joy in his life.

He stumbles from one problem to another,and life simply doesn't give him a break.

And it seems his best is never good enough.

Whatever he tries, there is always an obstacle.

" Wow finished The Responder.

That might be the finest performance of Martin Freeman 

I cried. He is breathtaking." 

 The one thing that is absolutely similar to season one, is the fact that Chris wants to be a good Dad.

And being a good Dad means a day job, a bit of rest, and a flat that looks reasonably nice and clean.

The never ending circle of night shifts, threats, exhaustion and the fact that his colleagues and his superiors take turns to mock him, blackmailing him or and that's my highlight in a string of insults: telling him straight away that he is a knobhead!

It is extremely difficult to do your best, when every day is a new and impossible challenge.

Because there comes a time, when you can't take it anymore, and the physical exhaustion turns into a mental one, and this one is about to paralyse your actions and thinking.

Sometimes it's not important to find the best way out, as long as there is a way out at all.

And means that now and then, your best might come in the form of unusual decisions, and let's call it individual ways and methods.

If you would tell me, that Chris Carson is now a full time employee of Franny's team I wouldn't judge him.

It's not that he didn't try to do it the honourable way, and what is the honourable way?

When is your best not good enough anymore?

When do you have to turn tables, change methods and look out for your own interests?

To make your best once again...good enough!

Before it is too late.

" Binged The Responder.

Emotions all over the place " 

The other part of importance this season is most likely no surprise for you anymore.

 Because I keep talking about for the best five weeks now.

Chris and the reunion with his father.

The final and most important piece to the puzzle that is Christopher Carson.

I have never seen him so intensely human, so vulnerable and uncomfortable in most situations, yet drawn to the only still living person in the world, that could explain and make him understand why he is who is, and why he does what he's doing.

When around his father Tom, we witnessed a man we have never seen before, we have seen Chris the cop, Chris the husband and father, and Chris the man , who has probably more criminal instincts in him, than he and we thought at the beginning, but we never saw Chris his father's son.

We did see him as a caring and loving son, who took care of his dying mother, a son so kind and tender that it had been one of my favourite moments in S1.

But Tom Carson is unfinished business for Chris, the change in him whenever he's around his old man, is what any therapist would call:

" Worthy of attention"

Chris is still fucking angry with his Dad, but he is also terrified of him.

And I explained in two separate posts already, why I understand both parts very well.

But Chris is at first not really able to stand up for himself, and I keep wondering if he is able to stand up for himself in any part of his life?

And is that a reflection of his childhood?

I told you how absolutely dreadful it was for me seeing Chris stealing money from his father.

In my opinion, he reduced himself to a man who finally decided to have no pride left.

That was so beneath his dignity, and that fucking hurt me.

Yes , I know my Responder posts lack elegance, but how can I explain it elegantly that this moment had been the one I was really angry with him.

He agreed to work for a criminal, lies to anyone, and beat Mullen into a pulp, and yet my biggest reaction happened in this very moment.

Your blogger is a weird woman or a dark horse.

Your choice:)

But I can't give him or you another option in this matter.

He really needed the money, because he was in his own words " in the shit" , but could he have asked Tom for the money?

Would Tom have said yes?

Perhaps, but I also wonder if asking his father, and admitting all this " shit" would have been the bigger hurdle for Chris Carson..?

" The Responder is the best thing Martin Freeman ever made"

" Martin Freeman with another masterclass in The Responder " 

The meetings with his father are obviously extremely stressful for Chris, because they change from violent to nice, to insulting and caring so rapidly that you are hardly able to take a breath.

And yet, he keeps coming back to the point where there is a confrontation at the past, and this time we see and hear both sides, and I started praying for a future where Chris can at least make a minium of peace with it all.

And it seems my hopes hadn't been entirely wrong, because something changed in Chris.

Will he be able to accept who he is?

Even that means he is a danger seeking police officer with an anger issue and part time job as a criminal?

The anger issues find their way to a recipient at Tilly's communion, and we clearly see pride in Tom Carson afterwards.

It seems that Tom is ready to accept his son the way he is, so is Chris ready to put some confidence in himself, no matter if he will be a Captain or a full time criminal one day.

Just accepting yourself without constantly judging yourself.

I am not saying here that I would be happy if Carson became a full time villain somehow, but The Responder taught me, ( among other things) that there is no easy answer to right and wrong, but whatever you are , you need to find ways to forgive yourself, and accept the person you are today.

Process the past, because without knowing where you come from, you will probably not know where you want to go, but then try and let it go.

This is what Chris Carson tries at the end of the season, and as heartbreaking as it is , seeing him to let go what he so clearly wants to keep is a decision that has my absolute respect.

All the flaws, the wrong decisions, the anger and the violence, never let me lose respect for him for one second, because he is one of the most honest and trying human beings I have ever seen.

People who keep trying, no matter what life throws at them deserve my admiration.

Chris Carson had it from day one, and never lost it.

" I'm in love with Martin Freeman's scouse accent. "

" Watching The Responder put me on edge.

Martin Freeman is unbelievable"

" Martin Freeman is perfect "

" Just finished binge watching The Responder.

Martin Freeman is incredible.

Amazing talent, who seems to get been and better "

There is no superlative I haven't used in the past few weeks, here and on our social media channels when it came to Mr. Freeman's performance, and his ability to make Chris Carson one of the best characters that ever hit our screens.

Luckily I am just one little drop in an ocean of praise for him, and every single rave and adoration is more than well deserved.

I know for twenty years now what a calibre of talent Martin Freeman is, and I simply do not have enough words to describe what his acting means to me.

It separates the artist from the actors.

I have seen a lot of fabulous actors, but I rarely see an artist.

That what makes it so different, so special and being a Martin Freeman Fan is once more a privilege.

And writing about The Responder had been an honour from the very first article to the one I am now about to finish.

I have one thing in common with Martin Freeman.

We both like things to end.

I had no problem with just one season of Fargo, because I saw perfection.

I was ok with two brilliant seasons of StartUp, and a Phil Rask so full of different stories that it will be forever in my mind.

I was  absolutely cool with four seasons of Sherlock, and if you had told me they would stop after S1, or S2 , or three I wouldn't have started complaining.

The brought me the modern version of a lifelong companion and I was grateful.

And even I had an extraordinary time with Breeders, so much that I will dedicate my whole blog summer to them, I totally accepted that one day the story was over.

I remember while I was in middle of preparing to open the Freemaniac blog, that I had a conversation with a blogger friend, and I said that I estimate this project to run for a year or two.

Not because I thought I wouldn't stop being a fan, not very likely after a twenty years journey, but because people might get bored with me, or 

I would loose the ability to write from the heart.

Or readers will simply loose interest, for now we have readers around the world, and I couldn't be happier but never take these things and people for granted!

I am not a particular fan of stretching out things.

 Last season I said the biggest compliment I was able to give, had been the fact that I had to stop watching the Responder episodes now and then to take a breath, because the realistic performance of panic attacks triggered me.

Trust me, it had been a huge compliment.

This season, I'm going to say that my biggest compliment will be a request:

Chris, please come back.

I am not ready to say goodbye yet.

I am not able to let you go.

I am not finished thinking and analysing, and I want more material to do so.

I would love to see where you go from here.

What could and will happen?

Chris Carson, you won a piece of my heart, and I am not ready to take it back yet.

Therefore I say thank you, and not goodbye.

See you around, Chris...

Contact: sabsigb7@yahoo.com