Tom and Chris, the unwilling bond Spoiler!

The minute I learned that my dream had indeed come true, and Bernard Hill would play the father of Chris, I knew my mind would overflow with thoughts.

That cast had been a dream come true.

First because,  I was hoping after his Mum, we would get a chance to meet the other half of the puzzle that Chris childhood is, and secondly I couldn't think of a better actor playing a surely not easy to like character.

Bernard Hill is a legend, I am not willing to say " was " I am simply not ready.

So seeing him as Chris father and getting the chance to see these two acting legends together on screen, is a once in a lifetime chance, and sadly it turned out to be exactly this.

Since we saw Chis Carson, and the tender interaction with his mother, and his struggling attempt to open up, about his family and background in S1, I was wondering about the real father-son relationship.

When we reflect or analyse a situation from our past, we tend to romanticize or overrate the circumstances, because we put our own feelings and assessment into it.

But of course. it was always clear, and can't be denied , that Chris experienced violence towards his mother, and himself, by the hands of his father.

Those experiences often stick with you in a way, that makes it impossible to have a healthy relationship with yourself, or the people around you.

Chris might have been able to repress those feelings for half his life, but as soon as a crisis arrives on the horizon, your life story will lead the way, and we have seen his immense struggle with it in S1.

For anyone who wants to catch up with our takes on S1 here is an overview with links to all articles.

Just click here

The few things we heard from Chris about his childhood, and his anxiety to turn into his Dad, made me feel sorry for him,and even we should always hear two sides before forming an opinion, I am not going to lie to you, but I was slightly prejudiced when we first met Tom Carson.

I was actually nervous, can you believe that?

But this is what these characters do to you, you get so involved.

So when Chris is standing in the living room of his father's house, the atmosphere is stretched to a breaking point.

I immediately and automatically took Chris side, like he needed backup.

I was torn between curiosity and anxiety, because I was eager to finally "meet" the man who I already maybe wrongly formed an opinion on.

The first impression was indeed not a good one, Tom has a rather indirect danger around him, and you can immediately imagine him in his younger days, and see him dangerous and aggressive towards his family.

What I also noticed almost straight away, is the slight but obvious change in posture in Chris Carson.

There is anger bubbling in him,but also sadness and fear, and even disappointment, when he asked his Dad why there are no pictures of him in the house.

" Why should there be ?

I never knew you.

I'm your son.

Your mother and you left.

We left ?

Your mother took you, and left, and that was it!

Fuck off, Dad "!

 We get the feeling that this conversation is not going to end well, because there a way too many emotions and anger involved.

This will lead nowhere, except to more misery.

And so the short exchange ends as quickly and unfriendly as it began.

Except there is that one little sentence coming from Tom, that serves as the last straw to Chris and that let him lose his feverish attempt to maintain his patience

"I still loved you, though "! 

And that does it!

Chris explodes, and for once he seems to have the upper hand.

I wonder if the uniform helps him, to stand up to his father, or is it because he has an advantage, because his father is old and ill.

Within seconds Chris reminds his Dad of a certain incident, where he felt his " love" the hard way.

There is the little boy full of fear, and the man he is now, who is afraid to turn into his own father.

 I was secretly rooting for him, because I have similar experience with parents who twist facts, not necessarily to make themselves to look better, but because the actually believe it.

  The minute Chris furiously left the house, I was hoping for more.

Because I already knew that these moments would be the highlights of the season for me.

I loved season one so much, and all the tension and the insight we get on police work.

But the emotional development of  Chris Carson, with all his ups and downs, and the obstacles even more difficult to overcome than last time, and the immense psychological character study we get to see, thanks to the even better writing than before ( never thought that would be possible ) and the layered and perfectly nuanced performance of Martin Freeman, made his private struggle my absolute main focus this time.

And I got more real soon, but like I said in my E1 recaps and thoughts, you can read here and here and a son-father special here , that was the most unpleasant surprise ever in my Carson- audience relationship.

It sounds so silly saying this, especially since you probably read that I am a little bit in love with Franny, and I kind of support Chris to go fully corrupt, ( Oh God, that sounds really awful) so pinching a bit of money from his father sugar basin, shouldn't be that big a deal.

But it somehow  was a big deal for me, even if I can understand why he did it, and Tilly in this case, more important than anyone and anything else.

But it was an emotional problem for me, not the stealing itself, although he surely does not receive kudos for it, but I could have live with it.

It is the fact , that of all people he steals it from his father.

The man he claims responsible for so many things in his life gotten wrong, and a man who has clearly not the highest opinion of him.

This is what makes it so difficult for me, he lowers himself too much for my liking.

It pains me to see, that he is willing to swallow his pride, and goes so beneath his dignity, and it doesn't make it any better that he put a bit of money back in the basin, that makes it actually worse.

Because this kind of vindication does not work for me, Chris.

 Why is it easier for me to see Chris Carson, letting himself drawn to corruption and crime, but I can't stand to see him stealing money from his father?

Maybe because I want him to be stronger than this, maybe because I want to have the upper hand in the emotional war he is in, and where his father seems to be the Captain of the opposite army.

I just want him to be one step ahead, perfectly aware that Chris is always behind.

For the audience these scenes are absolutely marvelous.

These two men built up a chemistry and tension from the very first second.

It is for us the missing piece of the puzzle that is Christopher Carson.

Both his parents called him by his full name, no one else does, so this is kind if significant.

I connect tenderness to his mother saying it, while his father puts accusing authority to it.

Or maybe I just imagine things...

What I most definitely not imagine is the fact, that Tom Carson is not as weak as we might thought, and he certainly not suffer from age-related laziness.

We soon get a violent glimpse of the true nature of Tom, when Chris awkwardly tries to put the money back, after he had made little money with just another dirty job.

Did he really think his stealing would have gone unnoticed?

Well, it didn't, and Tom's reaction is as cruel and abusive as I feared it would be.

Chris and his frantic excuses that makes everything worse.

" I was in the shit, ok"

I wanted to scream " No Chris, fucking hell, that's not ok.

With him standing there like an trapped little boy, who makes stuttering excuses and awaiting the real punishment.

And we trust Tom, that years ago, this punishment would have been extremely painful.

But even he might not be able " to beat the living shit" out of Chris, his insults are not less horrible.

Words stay with you, sometimes longer than a slap or even a beating.

Especially when a soul is a fragile as Chris is, a man who is no longer able to stand up for himself, and unfortunately is " in the shit" more often than not.

Tom still has power over Chris, maybe more power than anyone else ever had.

I felt like a voyeur watching this, and I took sides once again.

I do this as if I had no choice, I automatically felt sorry for Chris, and felt as helpless as the man himself.

And I feared Tom Carson!

This man is dangerous and that's it.

But life is hardly that easy...

And so my opinion was turned upside down, the moment Tom met Tilly.

I felt very anxious, and I certainly did not want this child to be in the presence of her grandfather.

And for a split second I was wondering if Chris would be able to protect her...

But the rollercoaster that The Responder is and was from day one continued, and within seconds the atmosphere changed into a loving grandpa in a warm environment.

Tom is tender, funny and caring, and is without doubt a little girl's dream.

What seems to be Tilly's dream is Chris nightmare.

He is like a wounded animal, still ready to protect his youngest.

Two men, one with a broken past, and one with a broken present, united in the love of a child.

" Hey, bring her again, please.

She's great "!

Every time Chris leaves his father's house, I wondered if this would be the last time, hoping it's not of course, yet it would be reasonable wouldn't it?

He is obviously super uncomfortable there, and has nothing but anger and fear left for his father, so why going there in the first place?

To steal money?

To bring the stolen money back?

To sleep??

Because next time, that is his main reason.

To get a few hours rest.

But is his self-esteem really that low, or is it just the instinct of self preservation, that you have when you reach a certain point of exhaustion?

Or is his subconscious playing dirty tricks with his soul, and even considering all the hate, violence and insults, is there that unbreakable bond of family, and the roots of Chris Carson that brings him back over and over again?

The last person in his life where he can go to?

Because Tom opens the door each and every time.

And this time there is a microwave and a sudden care for his son, that was heartwarming to see, which is ridiculous if I try a rational approach.

I witnessed his cruelty, and I accompany Chris Carson for two seasons now, and I saw his struggling with life, I observed his panic attacks to my own breaking point, Read my report here

and I see him making mistake after mistake because he lost his natural balance, a balance that was long gone, before he broke down at a crime scene.

An unbalanced man, searching for a way out, and you don't have to be Dr. Freud to realise that the real answers lie way back in an unhappy childhood where he was first scared, and later on " the man in the house" , too much pressure on a young boy, and unsolved conflicts will always come back and haunt you.

And yet, Tom's honest worries about Chris not eating supper are almost comically ironic, but it got to me.

Like I said, and I will keep saying it over and over again.

There is an acting to witness we don't get to see on a regular basis.

It's rare and brilliant and extraordinary.

Two very experienced actors, playing they hearts out, and create an invisible bond with each other.

A bond over the question of supper.

A bond that leads to a long overdue discussion.

A bond that cannot be seen but felt.

And since I was already slightly in Tom's corner, at least for the evening I was relieved when we finally see an actual chat, and if we want it or not, but there are always two sides to every coin, and we need to give Tom Carson the right to talk about his side of the coin.

It wasn't easy, Tom and Chris are not exactly the master of conversation, but maybe that makes it more real.

They don't held back, and even I had a very hard time to cut off my own imagination from a scared boy and a vulnerable man who is not able to set his life straight, but I wanted to hear what Tom had to say.

Would he be honest?

Would he able to say sorry?

Would Chris be strong enough to forgive?

Would Chris weak enough to forgive him?

I WAS ASHAMED! 

This one little confession said with pure desperation and helplessness, was enough for me to give in.

An old and lonely man, who is reaching out to the only person he has left in the world.

His own son.

Who is himself a person without any stability in his own life.

Without one single friend, who needs to beg people to let him sleep on their couch.

Two lost souls associated in the bleakness of their lives.

I wanted to understand them both, I wanted to heal them, to show them a way out, but I'm still uncertain if there is a way out for these two men.

Because some wounds are so deep, that they will stand in the way of our forgiveness.

Because Chris might be able to forgive, but is he able to forget?

We do not get an answer that evening, and I'm frankly grateful for it.

I'm grateful because I am not sure I could live with the answer, and maybe they don't know it either.

Maybe only time will tell.

Time, and a microwave that warms up supper a concerned father wants his son to eat.

That bond becomes slightly more visible at Tilly's communion.

I have written about Ep5 and I think it is our most detailed take on S2.

There we see father and son for the first time, and as it often is the case with Mr. Freeman and very special gifted moments, it happens almost without any exchange of words.

I say that ever so often, that you could assume I prefer Mr. Freeman when he's not speaking.

Well, nothing could be further away from the truth, but some actors need their voice to express emotions and responses, but Martin Freeman never needed this tool.

He is one of those rare talents who are able to say it all with a blink of an eye.

And this is simply impressive, and transforms me, the audience closer to every character, because he shows me the things between the lines, and these are the real treasures to explore.

Like I said, I put pen to paper, ( somehow) and told you what I thought about the episode, and especially the communion scenes, so now I happily focus on Chris and Tom.

The Tom Carson who arrives at the church is the man Tilly met, not necessarily the man Chris remembers, and we see he is still slightly uncomfortable.

Yet, I smiled unintentionally, and this is so not me, since I was on Chris corner completely from day one, and abuse physically or emotionally is my absolute boundary, so rooting for this old bugger makes me uncomfortable too, but not enough to stop.

Especially after seeing the present Tom brought for Tilly.

Chris old prayer book!

In my mind, I saw a man who kept this for more than forty years, captured in his guilt, anger and bitter sweet memories.

A man who missed his son.

A man who is still missing his son.

Tilly's communion had every chance to be an event, that brings the family closer together.

Because Chris and Tom both adore this wonderful little girl.

God knows, Chris needs a day to catch a breath.

The little family even shares some sweet and heartwarming moments, where we see Tom's proud and happy smile towards Chris.

This man does things to my heart.

It's painfully intense.

But with Bernard Hill and Martin Freeman I shouldn't be surprised anymore.

Unfortunately Mullen and Kate spike up his guns.

And I'm more than willing to repeat my statement from my article on Ep5:

My anger is only possible, because the cast is beyond phenomenal.

Otherwise I would never been that agitated and would not invest so many emotions!

Nevertheless, with the arriving of Mullen, the  family moment comes to an abrupt end.

What awakes is Tom's sense of protection.

And that is a joy to witness.

He knows immediately what's going on, 

And in his face we see a lack of understanding, confusion and I see a bit of sadness mixed with anger.

After all, Tom is a father who just witnessed the mistreatment of his own flesh and blood.

And besides all the rage, fear and still unresolved conflicts, the moment Mullen has his " entrance " Chris turns to look at his father.

It's like he seeks help, and support.

It broke my heart.

I don't know who needs more support in this moment.

Chris or Tom Carson.

But at least Chris gets his sweet revenge.

Or let's call it: To settle a long overdue score.

And once more, I wanted to hug this difficult old man.

His son just beated the crap out of Mullen, and he is proud.

I know it makes me sound so unpleasant, but I laughed out loud.

A man who is openly proud, that his son fighted back.

I simply wanted him to be proud.

A very strange, and probably very wrong father son moment, but they made me happy.

Equally happy made me the fact, that the very last moment of the episode is dedicated to Chris and Tom Carson.

A moment of hope!

Hope that there will be a reconciliation, meetings, support and care.

Two men who have lost almost everything, and most of all themselves.

Could they be a reinforcement for one another?

Will there be regular visits from Chris?

With more chats, and supper warmed up in the microwave?

Nothing of it sounds particularly exciting, but being with a parent is not about excitement.

It is about trust, and shared memories, and in the case of the Carson men get to know each other.

Not the helpless child, who was afraid of his violent father.

Not the drunken tyrant, who felt alone, and seeked company in the pub.

No, we have two adults with the chance of a new beginning.

It might seem impossible, but Chris is willing to try.

Yes, he is still corrupt.

Yes, he might have lost Tilly.

Yes, he might go to prison one day.

Yes, he will always struggle one way or another.

But in this very moment, he is a son, who knocks on a door, and his father is more than willing to let him in.

The heavyweights of the show did not disappoint us.

They impressed, astonished, provoked, reopened conflicts and old wounds, brought us love, hate, anger and laughter, and never absolutely never lost themselves or credibility on the way.

Martin Freeman and Bernard Hill dominated the season, with a naturalness that left me in awe.

They created a chemistry from the very first minute, that is without equal.

They made every scene together a masterclass, where you can watch, analyse and learn something about them and yourself.

Bernard Hill and Martin Freeman showed us what art can do, and why it is so important to have it.

Every moment had been a celebration!

Thank you.

Contact: sabsigb7@yahoo.com